Well, ladies and gentlemen, we have reached that time again. It’s the time of the year that you examine your pale, pasty body that you have been covering up with sweaters, jeans, long socks, and long johns and wonder how you are going to transform this lumpy mess into a bathing suit body.
I, myself, have been wondering the same thing. How will I do it? How will I whip myself into swim suit shape before Memorial Day? Given the fact that I have developed a fervent love of peanut butter, watching Netflix on my couch, and calling sweeping my apartment ‘exercise,’ I believe I have my work cut out for me.
My plan is fairly simple. Close mouth, open door to gym.
Next week, I’ll start making a few simple changes to prep myself for warmer weather. Here’s what I’ve got so far…
Drink 96 ounces of water a day
Spend 7 hours a week exercising
Combat peanut butter cravings by brushing my teeth and chewing gum
Get 8 hours of sleep a night. Period.
Get a pedicure
Get some new self tanner and gradually give myself a glow
Bring on the tankinis, short shorts, tank tops and flip flops! This year, I'll be ready and waiting...
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