It Ain't Pretty

Do you ever find yourself in a slump and before you know it, it’s so monumentally deep that you don’t ever think you’re gonna make it out? Well, I’m not quite there yet, but I do find myself feeling slumpish lately. What I hate about it more than anything is that I can’t (for the life of me) figure out why I am in this slumpy state.

Things are swell. Life is going in a good direction. Flowers are blooming. I am gainfully employed in a job that I actually kinda love. The grass is green—and on my side, not the other side. I’m in love. Birds are singing. Life is good.

So, what gives, man?

Not knowing the source is the most frustrating aspect of this particular, very peculiar slump. In the past when I’ve had a one-way ticket to Slumpville, the reason for my trip is quite clear—I’m in a bad relationship, my job sucks, my future is bleak, etc., etc. This time, however, I am perplexed as to why I find myself eating a slump sandwich.

Perhaps biorhythms? A medicinal haze (from 10,000 eye drops a day)? A hormonal misfire? Exposure to monumental amounts of pollen?

Whatever the cause, I pray the authorities of Slump City swiftly kick me out and change the locks. Slump sandwiches taste horrible.

I’ll keep you posted.