A Goodbye

If you have been a reader of my blog, you may know that I really, really love my apartment. It is 1,000 square feet of coziness and a true haven for me. Sadly (and gladly), I will be giving my apartment up and moving into Mr. L's house at the end of this month. Though I am super happy about moving in with my future husband, I am not so cheerful about giving up my crib.

It's bittersweet. It's the feeling you get when you have to give something away that you truly love because your life is evolving. Don't get me wrong, I am more than happy for my life to evolve. In fact, I prayed really, really hard for it to evolve, but I will have to leave a little piece of my life behind as this evolution progresses.

I guess the reason I feel so connected to my place is because it has been a real symbol of freedom in my life. It has been a place where I have truly been a happy, healthy person.

Though I have been happy in my cozy little apartment, life progresses, and with progress comes upheaval of your roots and new implantation. It's scary when you face it, but positive change is always worth the fear. The good thing about my upcoming change is that I don't have to do it alone. I have the love of my life to do it with me. And that makes me happy.

Really happy.

So, slowly, box by box, I will pack up my little haven and transport it to my new home. It is a long goodbye to a wonderful phase, however I have a sneaking suspicion that the next phase in my life will be my best on yet.

Late Bloomers

While excitedly watching the victorious end to the Saints/Vikings game last night (WHO DAT!), I remember thinking that I never thought I would see this day come. Finally, the Saints, MY Saints are getting their day in the sun. Having been a longtime Saints fan, we’ve undeniably hit more than a few low points, doggedly cheering for a team that took 26-years to have their first winning season. I grew up in the days when the Saints were the Aints and people wore paper bags over their heads when going to a game. But I was always a believer. They’re just late bloomers, just like me.

I have always been a bit behind the blooming times. It started back in my single digit days when I was six. I remember all the girls in my kindergarten class started getting ‘boyfriends.’ Naturally, I wanted one for my own, so I boldly asked a boy named Sal to be my one-and-only. He said no. (In retrospect, a boy names Sal couldn’t be going very far in life, so that might have been a good thing)

This pre-elementary rejection unfortunately sparked serial singledom that spanned grades K through 12. I was on the brink of a) believing that I was unbelievably hideous and would never, ever have a boyfriend, and b) looking into the possibility of becoming a nun when I went to college.

Shazaam! After a few short weeks at college, I bloomed. Better late than never, right?

The same series of events continued after college when all of my friends and acquaintances abandoned their singlehood and all got hitched. All of the same feelings that I had in my post-Sal, pre-bloom days began to bubble to the surface. I waited, and waited, and waited for my time. I started to lose hope and began to plan my life as a spinster with cats.

And that made me sad.

For a long, long time.

Until I met Mr. L.

After our first date my petals began to expand and I knew I was about to bloom. And bloom I did. And now I will become his wife.

Which, in a weird way, brings me back to the Saints. I find it so wonderful that we are both being asked to dance at the same time. Late bloomers are we, but bloomers all the same.

Last Mile

Twice As Nice

Wait, wait, DO tell me

Whew! Interview over. Now comes the hard part of interviewing....the post-interview-wait. The good news is that it went really well and took, like, 2 hours, which I think is a good sign. I guess they would not spend two hours of their lives with a candidate that they don't like, right? That's what I'm telling myself, anyway...

So here's a run down of how the morning went:

6:00 am -- Got up and practiced interview questions with Mr. L until I was so nervous I wanted to puke.

7:30 am -- Left the house. Hair began to frizz due to serious humidity. Great.

8:00 am -- Walked with Mr. L to building where interview was held. Sweat through undergarments, shirt, and suit. Hair frizzing increased exponentially.

9:00 am -- Waited for interview, but unable to walk around due to new high heeled shoes that immediately 1) hurt like the dickens, and 2) rubbed a big blister on my big toe.

9:50 am -- Waited some more and resisted the urge to 1) run from the building, 2) puke all over my black suit, 3) throw my ill-fitting shoes away and interview bare-footed.

10:10 am -- Go to interview site and wait nervously at human resources department. Pray. A lot.

10:30 am -- Into the lion's den I go.

12:30 pm -- Make a joyous phone call to Mr. L & blabber to him about how well it went.

Now, as I take a deep breath, I wait. It's all in God's hands, so I can rest easy knowing that He opens doors when they are meant to be opened and closes them when they are meant to be closed. I know that He knows what s best for me. Time to let go and let God, you know?

So yay or nay? I don't know....we'll just wait and see.

Crossing My Fingers (and Toes)

Why the smile, you ask? Because this gal has an INTERVIEW in her chosen future-home-city, Birmingham, Alabama. On Friday.

Nice.

Billy Joel Said It Best...'Cause I'm

So, yesterday was a semi-monumental day. It was a day that I decided to grab the reigns, grab the bull by the horn, and told my depressive whiny side to grab a seat. Yes, my friends, I reclaimed my life...and it feels doggone good.

I made the decision to move to Birmingham no later than August 1st, 2009....even if I am sans job, sans income, and sans total predictable financial stability. Sound crazy? Well, it's no crazier than living in the basement of your Mom's house, working at a job you can't stand, commuting to said job, and living 200+ miles away from your beloved.

I will say that my crazy decision is at least a planned crazy decision. I've performed calculations, analyzed, scheduled, and spreadsheeted my leap (Mr. L would be so proud!)...and I feel really, really good. I mean, weight-lifted-off-me-fresh-from-the-spa-tony-the-tiger gggggrrrrreaaat!!

More updates on my progress forthcoming....goodwill wishes, prayers for a smooth transition, and job opportunities in the greater Birmingham metropolitan area all appreciated!!

A Four Letter Word That Begins With E

Envy is one of those totally useless emotions. I don't like when it comes a-knockin' on my door, but I have to admit, lately, it is a frequent visitor.

So, it's no secret that I don't love my job. It's basically a fine job, not hard, pay is decent, hours are regular, co-workers are basically non-existent (so no co-worker drama), but it bores the everliving hell out of me. Since I have so many unoccupied hours at my desk, I do a fair amount of blog surfing. It's a fun, voyeuristic (and who doesn't like a little voyeurism?), quiet, time-filling, seemingly innocent way to pass the time. But it has a dark side effect that I don't love so much. (a nasty word of the four-letter variety.....ENVY)

I have to admit that there are A LOT of blogs out there, and most of them seriously suck if you have no vested interest in the blogger or the minutiae of their family life. However, there are some very, very talented bloggers out there that have fabulous blogs about their fabulous lives. Herein lies the problem: I get jealous of the bloggers and their fantastic lives.

JEALOUS! How insane! Envious of these people who I have never, ever met. I'm not so much jealous of the people in particular, but of their life circumstances when I compare them to my own. Don't get me wrong, I love who I am and I wouldn't want to be anyone else if you paid me a gazillion dollars, but I would love to have the life of a stay at home mom, or an artist, or a wife that gets to see her husband everyday & share a life with him.

Who wouldn't want to have the time to whip up a fabulous batch of homemade cookies, or spend all afternoon creating crafts with your kids, or whole evenings with your awesome spouse, or travel all over the world, or have a huge family that all live in the same place? I think these are normal yearnings for a 32 (nearly 33-yikes!) year old, single woman who lives far away from her boyfriend and has a crappy job that she has no passion for, and whose siblings live out of state, and is living in a retirement community. But to envy is to err, and I don't want to be that girl.

I have contemplated ceasing my blog habit, quitting cold turkey, if I continue to slobber over strangers lives and wish I were in their place. Maybe a better solution would be to remind myself that a) my position in life right now isn't all that bad, b) the grass is always greener on the other side, c) my current circumstances are temporary, and d) God has given me a particular path in life for a reason (though I haven't figured that one out yet, Big Guy).

Whew! It felt good to get that one off my chest! It's tough to say, "Hey I am so totally jealous of this person. I wish I could be doing what they are doing." Tough, but honest, and being totally honest and vulnerable is my thing these days. The truth is that I am currently in a serious in-between stage and doing so tough work to give my life some forward momentum. I think that the kids call it 'finding yourself,' and, sister, it ain't easy.

Who knows, a year or 6 months from now I may be posting about my life (which will be awesome by then, I just know it!), and reading blogs and think, "Hey, I'm so totally NOT jealous of this person. I am so happy to be doing what I'M doing." And something tells me that that is exactly what I'll be doing.

Marvelous March

*Because it is the month of my birth (I was born on The Ides)
*Because it starts to feel like Spring and everything starts budding
*Because it contains St. Patrick's Day and that's always fun (plus, who doesn't like wearing green?)
*Because you still have another month to do your taxes
*Because it makes summer feel a whole lot closer than it did in February
*Because, during March, you start to pack your Winter clothes away
*Because sometimes Mardi Gras and sometimes Easter fall in March
*Because March always feels like a new start (kind of like October-which I like for a whole host of other reasons...)
*Because, well, because I just do

Welcome March! I pray you bring early Spring, birthday presents, a week off from work, encounters with baby chicks or some other baby animals, sunshine, spring cleaning, green beer, a pot of gold, fresh starts, and many, many smiles. Oh, and a prize from Public Radio International for the best short story entered in their contest...

My Life Right Now

*originally created by Indexed.